A Saucerful of Death Read online

  “Yes, good,” Stephen sighed in relief.

  “Right, there's something no one else here seems to be taking into consideration!’” Darren said, talking over the top of them both. Stephen and I turned to him in astonishment. “Good, now that I have your undivided attention, I just want to point out that we fly home.” He pointed at me. “One of us here has no ID to get onto a flight. And let’s not overlook she has no ID for anything. How she’s supposed to work?”

  “How do other illegal aliens do it? They get fake IDs sometimes, right?” Stephen asked, pursing his lips. I perked up. So I wasn’t the only alien to end up on this world! And from the sounds of it, they had an undergound network or some sort,for documents if nothing else.

  “That’s a federal offence! I don’t want to get court martialed over a fake driver’s license, do you?” Darren looked at him like he was an idiot.

  Stephen blanched. “No, court martials are bad. My mom would be so disappointed if I became a criminal and she probably wouldn’t come to see me. She’d just sit at home, crying and wondering what she’d done to make me go wrong. And my dad, he’d yell at me and then never speak to me again. Plus I’d never get to go into space again or fly because I’ll be breaking rocks at Leavenworth.’

  I wondered why people at Leavenworth wanted rocks to be broken and why it had to be done as punishment. Did they not have the technology to turn stone into usable building materials? Surely they could make synthetic construction matter, couldn’t they?

  Darren shook his head. “We’ll have to charter a private plane,” he said. “And she’ll have to come to stay with me at my house until we can figure something out. Her dad might come looking for her, worried about her, even.”

  “So I get to go live with and you and be your girlfriend?”I asked, delighted that my clever friends had figured things out for me. Now no one would have to go smash rocks and get yelled at by their fathers while their mother cried at home.

  “Pretend girlfriend, yes,” Darren assured me, smoothing his hair back down after catching sight of it.

  I clapped my hands in excitement. “I’m so lucky to have met you! I’ll be the best girlfriend ever!” And as for pretend, well, we’ll see about that. I have a feeling the universe wrote our stars together for a reason.

  Chapter 9

  Darren

  Coming ashore through the military port meant no customs to go through, thankfully. As we’d approached the dock, I’d had a moment's panic of trying to figure out what to with our new companion until I remembered that small fact. My mind latched onto her shapeshifting abilities immediately. While I’m not certain as to how her mass translated, I supposed she could have disguised herself as a duffle bag I could carry. One that I didn’t have, of course, as I hadn’t taken one into space. That was fine, though, as then I wouldn’t have to leave a real duffle bag behind.

  It was only during dinner back in our suite at the Outrigger that it also occurred to me that it was one way to get her onboard a commercial flight., maybe. It had been staring us in the face all this time and I felt foolish for not having put those pieces together until now.

  Peering over the top of my forkful of rice, I asked her, “You know when you make yourself looking like something else?”

  She blinked at me in bewildered confusion. ‘Which time?”

  “No, not any particular time, I meant when you do it in general.”

  “Oh?”

  Stephen munched as he leaned forward slightly, showing his interest in the sudden conversation.

  I continued. “I was wondering if you could turn yourself into something with multiple parts or if it had to be something with the same size and mass as yourself.”

  “I can make myself lighter to a certain degree, or heavier, but not overly so. And yes, I can look as if I’m made of multiple parts, I suppose, but they’d all have to be touching. So, like a small table with a vase on it, yes. A chair standing on a rug, yes. That sort of thing.”

  “What about a bag filled with clothes?”

  Stephen’s eyes lit up as he twigged where Daren was leading. “Like a piece you can carry on into an aircraft cabin.”

  “Probably,” Jeannie hedged.

  “Would it help if I got a bag and items for you to copy?”

  “Yes!’ she nodded emphatically. “Then I could practice.”

  “Great. Stephen and I had planned to go clothes shopping here as it was more convenient than arranging shipping and risking things getting lost.” I turned his gaze towards Stephen. “She can copy the bag you’re getting and make herself look like it, only a different color.”

  “Then copy the style of some of the clothes we get and bingo- she’s your carry on back to the mainland, just one x-ray to go through.”

  “Yes.” I looked apologetically over at Jeannie. “It does mean you'll have to spend several hours holding that form while locked in a small cupboard.”

  “That’s okay,” she said, though her face told me it was anything but. Not that I blamed her. The overhead compartment would be small and dark.

  “If you’re a container, can we put stuff in it for real? Like, I dunno, an I-do with a movie on it maybe? And some headphones?” Stephen asked.

  “And how would she use that?” Darren asked him, shaking his head in disbelief.

  Jeannie, however, looked delighted. “Is this an entertainment system?”

  “Yeah, and if you have headphones, you can plug them into the tablet. Watch a video on the screen and wear the headphones on your head, over your ears, so only you can hear it.” Stephen placed his hands over his ears to demonstrate. “It’s a bit clunky and heavy, but I can carry it and put it in the bag, well you, no that sounds dirty…” he floundered, blushing.

  “I can manifest a head and ears inside the bag and a tentacle or hand to operate the tech,” she reassured him eagerly. “And as long as it is not too heavy, the weight of something I could carry myself easily in this form, it’ll be all right.”

  “Fine,” I said, resigned. I didn’t mind about her having something to keep her occupied. It was the added complications I could see. First this, then something else, and something else again, unless I held the reins tighter. “We’ll do that and load you some movies onto it, and show you how to use it. But no using it until after you’re in the overhead compartment and I say it’s okay. And then change back when I tell you.”

  “Okay!” she clapped her hands.

  Stephen grinned at her antics. “See, I knew we’d figure it out and we did. Even found a way for her not to be bored out of her mind while doing it.”

  I gave him a weak smile. Somehow, I didn’t think it would all go as planned. Our mission certainly hadn’t and if that wasn’t proof that they needed to be prepared for anything, no matter how kooky, I didn’t know what was. And speaking of preparation, “Tomorrow we’ll go after breakfast and let Jeannie see what being in our everyday world is like. Then we can see about answering questions she might have.”

  “My neighbor Lao learned English from watching TV,” Stephen said. “I bet if we choose some shows that show regular life, Jeannie can learn a lot that way, too.”

  “Yeah, sure,” I replied. It didn’t sound like an entirely bad idea, as long as we chose the programs carefully.

  “Where’s Jeannie sleeping, anyway? We only have to bedrooms with two beds.” Stephen glanced around the suite as he spoke. “I don’t think the sofa pulls out.”

  “Do you sleep like we do or do you just rest as that, um, goo?” I asked her.

  “Oh, we sleep the same way. That was a relaxed state that I was in, but it’s not the same as sleeping,” Jeannie said. “As for how do I sleep, well, we can use our natural bipedal form or mimic another being that sleeps.”

  “Huh,” Stephen said. ‘So, if you fall asleep as a human woman, you stay a human woman?’

  Jeannie nodded.

  “I have a queen sized bed,” I said.

  “So do I,” Stephen added.

  �
��Then we’ll bunk together and Jeannie can have the other room and its bed.”

  Stephen batted his eyelashes at me in a playfully exaggerated manner. “Why, sir, after all these missions, you finally make your move.”

  I shoved him in the shoulder. “Knock it off. You’re such a goofball.”

  Stephen held a hand over his heart. “Rejected so soon. I don’t know if my heart can take it.”

  I snorted. “Pass me a piece of that cake,” he said.

  Jeannie laughed. “You two are such good friends.”

  “He’s the only one who’ll put up with me for missions,” Stephen told her mournfully.

  “As if. More like they want to keep the flight itself G-rated. I think you’ve had a fling with over half of the single mission ready candidates.”

  “A gentleman never kisses and tells,” Stephen said solemnly, making a zipped lips motion before handing over the slice of German chocolate cake that I’d asked for. ‘Oh, hey, there's a point. What are we going to do about feeding her?”

  See? Another complication. Thankfully, one easily solved. “We can add a couple of prepackaged snacks to the bag. Nothing to drink, though, so nothing salty.”

  * * *

  Chapter 10

  Jeannie

  I glanced around. To be honest, so far everything looked pretty normal to me. Just some of the things were different, such as the wheeled vehicles they got around in. But even those were very similar to some modes of transport I’d seen before. I might be from another planet, but, geesh, things weren’t altogether too different. I knew she’d fit in just fine. The guys were just big worry warts.

  I just need to learn some of the social nuances and all that. I can get that from those vids they promised to show me.

  Thankfully, my two male companions weren’t all that crazy about shopping. A few stops into stores that sold menswear and one that sold luggage, and they were done. Another time, I’d have wanted to linger and explore the shops. Right now, though, I had more pressing things to do, like how to make myself the perfect human woman, to avoid detection, keep me and my men out of danger, and show Darren he was right to choose me as his girlfriend.

  “I’m sorry about this, but you’ll just have to keep making your clothes for now,” Darren said. “Anything we bought you now would be wasted when we’d leave it.”

  “We could pay for an extra piece of luggage," Stephen said, trying to reason with Darren.

  “Or she could just keep manifesting her clothes and when we get back to Cocoa Beach, take her to buy some if she wants them.”

  “I’ll buy you some if you want,” Stephen said, turning to me.

  I thought about it. On the one hand, it would be easier if I didn’t have to maintain several more forms, even if they were lesser ones that my main one. On the other, I’ve really taken a shine to Darren, so taking such a personal gift from another male might send him the wrong message. “I’ll wait and Darren can take me when at the Beach of Cocoa,” I said with reluctance, biting my lower lip. I really wanted to get back to the hotel so I could watch those vids, but surely, obtaining one outfit wouldn’t take that long, would it?

  “Cocoa Beach,” Daren corrected her. “It’s the name of the town, not a description of a beach.”

  “Cocoa Beach,” I repeated.

  “Cocoa is nice, but the sand looks nothing like it. The sand isn’t brown at all,” Stephen told her.

  “What is cocoa? Other than something brown?” It must be something precious, I knew. They’d named an important place after it and I’d seen signs for extravagantly packaged creams and various bottles promising protection that all claimed to contain butter made from this cocoa.

  ‘It’s a brown powder made from a plant, used in cooking. It’s delicious in brownies and as hot cocoa, especially if you get those little marshmallows, whipped cream, and candy sprinkles on,” Stephen said.

  I looked at him, puzzled. “Then what is this cocoa butter I keep seeing?’ she asked, pointing at an ad in the window of a drugstore. It was promoting a brand of sun protection.

  “That’s also made from the plant,’ Darren replied. “It’s rich and creamy and is an excellent moisturizer.”

  “And it’s also an ingredient in the best chocolates,” Stephen added.”Hey, are you guys hungry? I’m starving.”

  I felt a frisson of alarm. “Oh, no!” she cried, grabbing onto Darren’s arm. “We mustn’t allow him to starve.” A terrible thought struck me. The two males were of the same species. “Are you starving, too? We must get you both something to eat!”

  Darren patted my hand reassuringly. “It’s okay, Jeannie. That was just an expression.” He turned to glance at bystanders who were staring. “She’s foreign so doesn’t quite grasp some idioms yet,” he told them. They nodded and moved away. Returning his attention to his companions, he said, “but yes, I could eat.. Why don’t we drop these back off at the hotel and try to see if we can find that shrimp truck we ate at last time?”

  “Oh, yeah. They had the best shrimp. Boy, Jeannie, you’re in for a treat.” Stephen got a glazed look to his eyes. “I could really go for some of that hot and spicy shrimp and rice. Oh, and some shave ice afterwards.”

  “If you like sweet things, you’ll love shave ice. It’s a local speciality here in Hawaii,” Darren told me. “It comes in a lot of flavours, I’d be happy to help you pick one to try.”

  I beamed at him. Darren had thought of me! True, Stephen had suggested getting shave ice, but it had been Darren who suggested the beach and the shrimp truck. This shave ice must be in the same location, and now he was recommending it to her. Even better, he was wanting to help her select her food, wishing to gift her with the most enjoyment possible. Surely they were on their way to becoming true lovers, just as the universe had decreed when it placed them together against such great odds.

  “Yes, please choose for me,” I said. “I’m sure you know what would be best.”

  “Sure,” he said, “but I don’t know about best. If you don’t like it, you can let me know. That way, we can figure out what you will like and what you don’t and avoid them in other dishes.”

  He really was clever and considerate, two things I found very attractive. It was more proof that we were very well suited indeed. I hugged my arms around myself in happiness as he stopped at a payphone to call a cab to come pick them up. It was looking more and more as if my intuition was right, the universe had used the accident to introduce them to each other. It was fate. I just had to wait for him to realize it.

  “It’ll be about ten minutes,” Darren said, returning.

  “Want to look at some of the clothes in the shop windows while we wait?” Stephen asked me. “The one right behind us has some sarongs and swimsuits in it. Might give you some ideas. People wear them to the beach and pool, and not just if they plan to actually go swimming.”

  I looked at Darren. “Go on ahead,” he told her. “Stephen, don’t take her too far. You need to keep an eye out for when the cab comes. In case you don’t hear me call out.”

  “Yeah, no worries. Just the windows right here.” Stephen tilted his head to the window he’d mentioned, motioning for me to follow him. I fell into step with him. If people wore these to the beach and they were going to the beach to eat, I should make sure I looked properly attired. My heart warmed at Darren realizing they had a way to get me a new outfit of sorts, after all. Though it was Stephen that kept coming p with most of the ideas. I began to see that Darren needed Stephen’s counsel on a lot of things. I was going to need Stephen to help Darren realize what we were to each other.

  “Do you think he will like me in that one?” I asked Stephen, pointing to red and white floral sarong paired with a red bikini top.

  “That would look nice on you,” he assured me. “You’d make anything look great. You know it’s just pretend, right? The girlfriend thing, I mean.”

  “I know it is, but if he thinks I look pretty in it, it’ll make it easier to act like he really like
s me that way, right?” Sweet Stephen, not yet seeing the big picture, either. He would soon, I just knew it. And when he did, he’d find ways to nudge Darren along until he saw it, too.

  “Okay, yeah, I see what you mean. I was just worried you might be getting a crush on him. He doesn’t do relationships, so it’s not just because it’s you.”

  “He doesn’t? Why not?” This was information I needed if I was going to get things moving in the right direction.

  “He’s got his sights on going to Mars, one of the other planets in our solar system. They will be making the final roster for the team selected to go on ahead and help set up the colony there. Right now it’s just construction bots worked by remote control.”

  “Colony? So, he plans to leave this planet and help start a colony on another?”

  Stephen nodded.

  “And you will be going with him?”

  Stephen shook his head. “I doubt they’ll pick me. I mean, sure, with this mission we just did, we both have the number of flight hours and all, but I’m not as by the book as he is. He’s a bit of a golden boy and as for me, well, I’m just the guy they stuck him with.”

  “And they don’t get to take their families?”

  “No kids under the age of twelve, and no pregnant women. But only a few families will get chosen. Mostly, it’ll be single people with more families to follow, but those will mainly be civilians. They’ll go once there's enough food being grown thee and housing for them and all that.” His eyes darted to something he saw in the window glass’ reflection and he turned around. “Hey, looks like our taxi’s here. Come on.”

  I thought about what he said as they rode back to the hotel. Stephen was wrong, I decided. He wasn’t just the guy they stuck Darren with. They were a team and worked together so well because they complimented each other. If the people who did the choosing were smart, they’d pick Darren and Stephen. They’d be able to get much more work done that way. And as for family, well, if she and Darren were a couple, hopefully, they’d let her come, too. She just had to establish an identity here that would pass scrutiny.